MK5 Golf GTI
General => Random Chat => Topic started by: Moschops on January 29, 2011, 12:09:34 pm
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An Incident At Harrods
A LADY WALKS INTO HARRODS. SHE LOOKS AROUND, SPOTS A BEAUTIFUL DIAMOND BRACELET AND WALKS OVER TO INSPECT IT.
AS SHE BENDS OVER TO LOOK MORE CLOSELY, SHE UNEXPECTEDLY FARTS.
VERY EMBARRASSED, SHE LOOKS AROUND NERVOUSLY TO SEE IF ANYONE NOTICED HER LITTLE WOOPS AND PRAYS THAT A SALESPERSON WAS NOT ANYWHERE NEAR.
AS SHE TURNS AROUND, HER WORST NIGHTMARE MATERIALIZES IN THE FORM OF A SALESMAN STANDING RIGHT BEHIND HER.
GOOD LOOKING AS WELL. COOL AS A CUCUMBER, HE DISPLAYS ALL OF THE QUALITIES ONE WOULD EXPECT OF A PROFESSIONAL IN A STORE LIKE HARRODS.
HE POLITELY GREETS THE LADY WITH, 'GOOD DAY, MADAM. HOW MAY WE HELP YOU TODAY?'
BLUSHING AND UNCOMFORTABLE, BUT STILL HOPING THAT THE SALESMAN SOMEHOW MISSED HER LITTLE 'INCIDENT', SHE ASKS, 'SIR, WHAT IS THE PRICE OF THIS LOVELY BRACELET ?'
HE ANSWERS, "MADAM, IF YOU FARTED JUST LOOKING AT IT, I THINK YOU'RE GOING TO sh*t YOURSELF WHEN I TELL YOU THE PRICE."
:signLOL: :signLOL: :star: :star: :pomppomp: :pomppomp:
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:signLOL:
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:congrats: :signLOL:
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:signLOL: :laugh: :signLOL: :congrats: :congrats: :congrats: :congrats:
Doesn't SteveP work in Horrids?
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:signLOL: :laugh: :signLOL: :congrats: :congrats: :congrats: :congrats:
Doesn't SteveP work in Horrids?
Yes I believe he does Robin. :happy2: I think he's a store security guard... :pomppomp:
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:grin:
Reminds me of earlier this week. Had to go to a meeting. Whilst waiting for the room to be ready (I was early), I had to wait out in the waiting area. There's a bit of the waiting area that's semi-blocked off by another room. I was sat there in silence, when I suddenly heard this dirty loud (and probably wet) fart. Looked up, no one around. Head back down. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw someone walk from that hidden area and out of the waiting room.
Evidently she didn't know I was there when she'd farted. I decided keeping my head down and not making eye contact was better than looking at this woman. :grin:
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Evidently she didn't know I was there when she'd farted. I decided keeping my head down and not making eye contact was better than looking at this woman. :grin:
....Knowing myself so well, I'd be guaranteed to have grinned and said something to her like: "I've been told by women that they never fart". If she's cool she'd laugh and if not, she's not worth talking to. Mind you, it goes without saying that I'd have to find her attractive to say such a thing. In fact, thinking about it, I'm sure I've said such a thing in the past.
It is said that if one of you farts in bed and the other doesn't giggle, you're not going to have much fun between the sheets.
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:grin:
Reminds me of earlier this week. Had to go to a meeting. Whilst waiting for the room to be ready (I was early), I had to wait out in the waiting area. There's a bit of the waiting area that's semi-blocked off by another room. I was sat there in silence, when I suddenly heard this dirty loud (and probably wet) fart. Looked up, no one around. Head back down. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw someone walk from that hidden area and out of the waiting room.
Evidently she didn't know I was there when she'd farted. I decided keeping my head down and not making eye contact was better than looking at this woman. :grin:
Ah you should have looked her in the eye, I'd bet she'd have turned a brilliant shade of Crimson.... :signLOL:
But was she a looker or a munter though... :party:
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But was she a looker or a munter though... :party:
.... :evilgrin: Absolutely makes ALL the difference doesn't it! If you're pretty you can getaway with so much more. Pretty girl's farts don't smell do they *cough*.
Talking of which [typical RR digression]: Long story less long.... Mate of mine, Patrick the late Rt. Hon. The Earl of Lichfield, royal photographer and shooter of the Unipart calendar featuring lots of girlies was auditioning one afternoon when I dropped by. Obviously my eyes kinda popped out at all the bikini-clad eye-candy and Patrick said: "You know what, Robin, I know what you're thinking but the smell in the girls' changing room is quite disgusting". [/end of RR digression]
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She must've been over 50 (or at least looked it), munter and fat.
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She must've been over 50 (or at least looked it), munter and fat.
:sad: