MK5 Golf GTI
General => Random Chat => Topic started by: Hedge on March 04, 2012, 08:13:19 pm
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Guaranteed to offend. :chicken:
Yorkshire man takes his cat to the vet.
Yorkshireman: "Ayup, lad, I need to talk to thee about me cat."
Vet: "Is it a tom?"
Yorkshireman: "Nay, I've browt it wi us."
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A Yorkshireman's dog dies and as it was a favourite pet he decides to have a gold statue made by a jeweller to remember the dog by.
Yorkshireman: "Can tha mek us a gold statue of yon dog?"
Jeweller: "Do you want it 18 carat?"
Yorkshireman: "No I want it chewin' a bone yer daft bugger!"
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A Yorkshireman's wife dies and the widower decides that her headstone should have the words "She were thine" engraved on it. He calls the stone mason, who assures him that the headstone will be ready a few days after the funeral. True to his word the stone mason calls the widower to say that the headstone is ready and would he like to come and have a look. When the widower gets there he takes one look at the stone to see that it's been engraved "She were thin".
He explodes: "'ells bells man, you've left the bloody "e" out, you've left the bloody "e" out!"
The stone mason apologises profusely and assures the poor widower that it will be rectified the following morning.
Next day comes and the widower returns to the stone mason: "There you go sir, I've put the "e" on the stone for you".
The widower looks at the stone and then reads out aloud:
"E, she were thin".
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Police have just released details of a new drug craze that is being carried out in Yorkshire nightclubs. Apparently, Yorkshire club goers have started injecting Ecstasy just above their front teeth.
Police say the dangerous practice is now called "E by gum"
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Bloke from Barnsley with piles asks chemist "Nah then lad, does tha sell arse cream?"
Chemist replies "Aye, Magnum or Cornetto?".............. bum bum !!!
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:signLOL:
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:congrats:
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Yorkshire is a place..... Yorkshire is a state of mind! :happy2:
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:grin:
''E, she were thin'' :signLOL:
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E by ecke tha funnie lad :signLOL:
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How does the old saying go....
"You can always tell a Yorkshireman but you can never tell him much" :laugh:
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E by ecke tha funnie lad :signLOL:
That's me :signLOL:,so true Ian
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I was just thinking of this as I was reading :grin:
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Yorkshire Airlines :happy2:
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Bloody tears in my eyes laughing at that
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'appen!
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:signLOL:
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The pronounced "T" is a load of crap to be honest, us yorkshire folk use it
with much more subtlety and finesse proper. :smiley:
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Bloke walks into Bradford B&Q and asks you got any turps?
Aye thas want video turps or audio turps?
:sad1:
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:signLOL:
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Bloke walks into Bradford B&Q and asks you got any turps?
Aye thas want video turps or audio turps?
:sad1:
I question the accuracy of your joke...... :popcornsoda:
:signLOL:
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Im so proud :signLOL: :congrats:
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Bloke walks into Bradford B&Q and asks you got any turps?
Aye thas want video turps or audio turps?
:sad1:
I question the accuracy of your joke...... :popcornsoda:
:signLOL:
The only question is which one? :wink: :wink:
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Being a born an' bred Yorkshireman misen, a reyt luv a gud joke. :signLOL:
Some Yorkshire folk are rather more refined than that - not me though! :wink:
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I'm a proper Yorkshire lad and I love it. But chuck Norris blessed Yorkshire lol
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How do you spot a dyslexic Yorkshireman? He's the one wearing a cat flap! :jumpmove:
I'm here all night!
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:laugh: :laugh:
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Excellent thread made me laugh :signLOL: :signLOL: