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Joke thread

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MC71:
We used to have a joke thread, can't find it, so starting another!!  :grin:



A blonde lady heard that bathing in milk would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk the next morning.

When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons.

So he knocked on the door to clarify the point.

The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your
note asking me to leave 25 gallons of milk. Did you mean 2.5 gallons?"

The blonde said,
"No, I want 25 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath so I can look young and beautiful again."

The milkman asked, "Do you want it pasteurized?"

The blonde said,
"No, just up to my tits ...
I can splash it on my eyes if I need to!"

4ndy:
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. :grin:

rich83:
Martin Martin Martin......  Search and you shall find!  :signLOL:

Bozz:

--- Quote from: 4ndy on December 15, 2016, 07:47:07 pm ---I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. :grin:

--- End quote ---
Love it,,, Made me chuckle

Carpy25:
A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered.
Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mothers pain to the baby’s father. He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favor of it.
The doctor set the pain transfer to 10%, for starters, explaning that even 10% was probably more pain the father had ever experienced before. However, as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and “kick it up a notch.”
The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband still feeling fine. The doctor checked the husbands blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing at this point, they decided to try for 50%. the husband continued to feel quite well.
Since the pain transfer was obviously helping out the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him.
The wife delivered a healthy baby boy with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic. When they got home, the postman was dead on the porch....

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