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Joke thread

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Adam0604:
I was at the store and asked for 50 condoms.
Two girls in the queue started giggling to themselves ... so whilst staring the girls in the eyes I said "Actually, make it 52".

Did you know the swimming pools on The Titanic are still full?

I don't really want to go much darker in humour than the above XD
I'll try remember some of the extremely dry one liners my mate comes out with though, because they're so bad they're actually funny!

rich83:
In the shark-infested waters of the Caribbean, two prawns called Justin and Christian are discussing the pressures of being a preyed-upon prawn. “I hate being a prawn,” says Justin. “I wish I were a shark.” Suddenly, a mysterious cod appears. “Your wish is granted,” he says. Instantly, Justin becomes a shark. Horrified, Christian swims away, afraid his former friend might eat him.

As time passes, Christian continues to avoid Justin, leaving the shrimp-turned-maneater lonely and frustrated. So when he bumps into the cod again, he begs the mysterious fish to change him back. Lo and behold, Justin is turned back into a prawn.

With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes, he swims back to the reef to seek out Christian. As he approaches, he shouts out: “It’s me, Justin, your old friend. I’ve changed… I’ve found Cod. I’m a prawn again, Christian.”

Bozz:
2 lady's of the night stood talking on the corner & one said my mouth feels like a bird cage !!! The other said I'm not surprised you had a Cockatoo in there last night

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